*Trying to convince someone they’re not like the others, and that you’re not like other people who have hurt them in the past. You want to be with them and they don’t believe it or accept that they’re allowed to be happy. You have a lot of awkward moments with them because you retreat because you really don’t know how they feel and you’re afraid to get too close without knowing for sure.*
There’s a wall built up between us.
It’s invisible like the scars on your soul.
I feel the pain when I hear you speak.
I see the hurt when you go and remember it all.
What you went through.
What makes you wallow in your disbelief.
I’m not a trickster.
At least not all the time.
When it comes to you I’m the one being tricked.
The signals you give make me scramble.
The only one who is.
My words ring hollow, but their meaning is true.
No one makes me feel the way you do.
It seems obvious doesn’t it by now?
The way you make me disappear.
It’s not what I’m handling.
It’s what I don’t know how to handle.
Feelings that only spark when you appear.
A catharsis wouldn’t be enough to free me of them.
It hasn’t been this whole time.
With every word I write,
With every word I say.
No matter what I tell you,
The song remains the same.
And I’m just here wandering aimlessly,
Without the guidance of a fractured soul to lead my own,
To a place where the faults align and those cracks are filled.
Just a place,
Just a time,
Just a moment,
Where I could have you in my arms.