Smoke

*About abandoning someone you care about because you’re scared. You don’t know if they feel the same and you vanish every time you two seem to get close.  A lot of the time you don’t really know why they put up with you anymore because you don’t think you deserve their attention for how you act. You disappear because of yourself, not because of anything they do.*

I guess I’ve done it again haven’t I?

Will you keep letting me?

The way I disappear isn’t fair.

I feel like I’m cheating fate when I leave you like this.

Like we belong together and I leave you in smoke.

Blinded by what you can’t see while I leave a trail behind.

I’m not complicated.

Don’t fall for it, no matter what I say.

It was never hard to explain,

Just hard to accept.

Reality.

Knowing how much I actually need you.

Knowing I’m still to scared to tell you.

Not knowing how you’d feel when I finally crack,

When I let the wind blow away the smoke.

Waiting for you to see through this facade.

I’m not playing head games, I’m just afraid.

Because I don’t know what is left inside that smoke.

I don’t know what I’ll see.

I don’t know who you’ll be.

Will it be the lady I love?

Or the one who gives me what I deserve?

Unrequited love, for the pain I cause.

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